2023 Week 5 LoL FFL Post:

Nazim Parupia
Oct 11, 2023
5 min read

BROUGHT TO YOU BY KYRIACOS

Hi guys writing the post like Naz this week

Week 5:

I’m sorry I’m not as cool as Kyriacos.

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Kcos beat Yas

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Rimmel beat Ali

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Humza beat Naz

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Sean beat Alex

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Colt beat Parth

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Ahsan beat Chris

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Some league stats no one cares about

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[NAZ] Don't worry about it, I gotchu with the memes:

Welp that was a full day’s work…Kcos resumes post duties RIGHT FUCKING NOW!! Fuck Chris!!!!

The Real Week 5 Post

Well boys, Winter is Coming Again! For some of us, like Nazneyrs Targaryen, it’s already come. But seriously his team is frozen solid at 0-5. Like a true White Walker, he’s super white and super zombie dead, but atleast he won’t burn alive. You can call me the Night K-Cos because it lights out for all you ‘’Build The Snow Wall’’ racists like Chris. Trying to keep my white walking people out. All these fucking houses trying to take me down. But alas, just like the ending of this mess of a show, it won’t be easy! I have turned Ahaan Starkani’s eyes blue, and he’s now one of us!!! Hahahaha a true loser! Just like my iced out friend Matty Ice! Hell has frozen over and he got a victory! Thank you Ahsan!! And because I have this platform I can say fuck Ser Chrisras once more. Winter time bitches!

Night K-Cos vs Yastard Snow

Yastard Snow the bastard son of Lord Eddard has fallen to Night K-Cos! Yastard was selected as Lord Commander but this week he was pillaged by winter itself. Justin Jefferson’s hamstring has let Yastard down again. Like the Great Sept of Baelor, Yastaed was utterly destroyed. As long as my eyes glow blue I will fight and now I’m 4-1! Traverous Etienne is crowned king and Yastard ended the weekend watching a blood bath at Levi Stadium. Even with The great Ice Wall of the New Orleans Defense, Yastaed stood no chance and now it is all set up for Night-Kcos to rule the Kingdom!!

Nazneyrs Targaryen vs Humza Bolton

This was our Red Wedding of the Week. Nazneyrs was stabbed in the heart by Humza Bolton and Jamar Chaae. So sad. Naz trusted it was going to be a celebration of jubilee when he dropped $28 on an old white wide receiver. His only top performer on his team. We all had hope that Nazneyrs could score more than 100 points this week, but alas Jordan Love shit the bed like his name was Amber Hearderus. Ew, she’s awful and that was Johnny Depp’s Red Wedding. But seriously. There is no greater heartbreak, than that scene. We were all in shock when the screen cut to credits and no music played. Just like no music is to be played for Nazneyrs, who without a pick in the first 8 rounds, now sits with just a small violin playing as 3,500 soldier bodies are lying there on the floor, dead, covered in blood, as Humza finishes him off, whispering in his ear ‘’The Lannisters send their regards’’. And scene. Humza is the favorite but we will all celebrate when one day Nazneyrs wins just one game this year. Please Lord of the Wall, don’t let it be me.

Ser Chrisras Tyrell vs AhsanBalon Greyjoy

AhsanBalon Greyjoy committed a hate crime on our young dead very gay brethren Ser Chrisras Tyrell. Ahsan became my hero, as he pillaged Chrisras’ asshole a tad more than his usual comfort. The 5 finger special Ali. DJ MooreCock was Chrisras only hope and he some how he still lost hahahahhahahahahahahahahahahaha. Like the Great Sept of Baelor, Chrisras was utterly destroyed. Our man, the Knight of the Flowers, is such a fitting description of what and who this LilGayBoi is. Pure and unapologetic gayness all wrapped into one man. Nothing will allow me to unsee Renly getting his chest shaved by the way. So much male dong in that show, that Chrisras can’t contain himself. Ahsan gets his first win of the year!!!! Let’s gooooo to our real champion!! Fuck Chrisras!

Maester Rimmel vs Ali Starkani

Maester Rimmel is a wise leader of Winterfell. He was educating the children and keeping watch over our younglings, when he decided to slain Ali Starkani. That’s my dawg. Stefon Diggs destroyed the oversees Queen to help get Rimmel the win. Matthew Breida did absolutely nothing for Starkani. It’s unfortunate. Lord Bijan continues to lead the way for Ali but couldn’t save him this week. It’s bad when your kicker out scores your quarterback. Rimmel moves to 3-2 and Ali finally loses! Great run my good sir!

Alexiser Thorne vs Seanert Baratheon

The drunken gluten Seanert keeps killing everyone he plays. Breece Hall woke up and destroye the Thorne! Unfortunately for Alexister, starting Michael Wilson was a drunker move than Arizona 2022. Like the Lannister family, Ameer Abdullah seems to have been born out of incest, because his brain is deformed. Bust. Seanert has been a waiver wire warrior this year but he just lost J-Conner and Achane both for 4 weeks, the same day. Let’s see if he can keep it going thru this adversity. Drink regardless Seanert! Haraaaaaam.

Parthuron Greyjoy vs Coltarya Stark

Well damn. Coltarya, the Faceless Man, killed Pathuron in the Battle of Winterfell. Parthuron was overheard saying ‘’THE STORM FUCKING CONTINUES!!’’ Parthuron won’t be taking over the Salt Throne, any time soon. ‘’No man gives me a crown. I pay the iron price. I will take my crown.’’ —Coltarya. Well the crown of Sir Fields was finally placed on his head. HE’S BAAACK! Just in time Coltarya!! And giving you Tyreeeek appears to be a mistake every week for me. Horrible trade. Tough L for Parthuron who again had Sir Gus Edwards let him down. No Justice, No Peace @Parthuron. Haha I have Justice Hill so it was perfect. In the end, Parhuron is one tie away from being the fallen Nazneyrs gross. Just call him the Denver Broncos because homie is dead…