Week 11 LoL FFL Post:

No theme this week. I remain staunchly anti-gay-boi, unless I lose and get the disease myself this week. Pray for a cure if that is the case. Meanwhile, I still hate Chris Brooks. More than I hate Covid, the Saints, and BadNewzKennels put together! Like many of my homework assignments, this post was put together last minute, with little care about quality or content. So I leave you with some culturally insensitive jokes: Enjoy!

White people on hijabs: ‘’Aren’t you hot in that?’’

Hijabis: ‘’We’re even hotter without it’’

‘’If she can handle my face at Fajr, I’ll know it’s true love.’’

‘’Girl I pray an extra rakaa just for you boo’’

‘’You never see Muslims in those paranormal activities movies cuz with 1 ayatul kursi the film is khalas.’’

Her: ‘’How’s my cooking? Tareef tou kardo.’’

Me: ‘’MashaAllah your cooking is so bad even shaytan will remind me to say Bismillah so he doesn’t eat with me.’’

‘’Mom, if Allah wanted me to pass that test, I woulda passed! Failure was destiny! Are you question Allah’s decision??’’

‘’I swear if someone drops a kebab burp next to me in tarawee this Ramadan, there’s going to be a janazah after witr.’’

‘’Ramada hunger makes people mad, one guy called a radio station and they asked him ‘’what song does he want played?’’ He said ‘’Maghrib adhaan.’’

Y’all: ‘’So Muslim men can have 4 wives, but women can’t have 4 husbands? That’s sexist!’’

Me as an intellectual: ‘’Where have you found 4 men worth marrying?!’’

Week 11 Review

Sean vs Kcos

Let’s face it. Sean beat my ass. Nick Chubb found his full chub and gave it to me all day long. The fact that a kicker was Sean’s 2nd leading scorer chaps my ass more than a grease monkey in a flytrap. Knox and Aiyuk on my bench chaps it even more. Congrats Sean on 6-5 and the division lead!

Ali vs Colten

Ali survives a negative 3 point performance from the Pittsburgh defense. And Fat Randy is taken to the woodshed by J. Tuck in the kicker battle. Daniel Jones might as well be named Danielle, as he performs like a bitch again. Jalen Hurts holds it down to seal the win for Ali. Scary Terry also keeps his insane pace that he’s sustained all year. Ali is now 5-6 and Colt falls to a league worst 3-8. Get the dress ready!

Rimmel vs Ahsan

Rimmel just continues to impress me. I mean round of applause for this man. How is he doing it? Sadly, I will not perform this well next year with no picks. He legit is my favorite player in the league! Justin Herbert seals the win for the Chargers and makes it clear that Rimmel will win it all in 2022! Aaron Rodgers, the antivaxer himself loses while throwing for 4 tuddies. Ahsan also takes another L.

Humza vs Yas

Not even a putrid 2.6 performance from Dak Prescott, which I watched live from Row 4 in the south endzone (Thank you Naz), could have stopped this Humza win! Yas couldn’t voodoo a win out of his team. No one and I mean NO1 could have seen a Buffalo D giving up 41 points to Carson Wentz….Like what?? Also Adam Thielen remember he was the original Cooper Kupp. Definitely helped that the real Kupp was on a bye. Thank you to Humza for keeping my 1st round Bye in the loffs Alive!!

Alex vs Chris

To quote the Quran, “Guide us to the straight path – Surah Fatiha Ayat 6’’ There’s nothing straight about Chris, sadly. He legit is the gayest fantasy player of all-times. The multi-verse itself couldn’t find a more gay outcome than a Chris (similarly named to the gay one) Godwin just missing 8 minutes at the end of the game to let the LilGayBoi win. Unbelievable. Alex should have had the W, easy. I’ll avenge this bullshit by this time Monday night.

Nazim vs Parth

Lastly, Jonathan Taylor vs Naz. I mean tailgating with Naz while he watched this absolute domination was wild. Taylor had 51 points before 2:15 pm CST. That’s just unheard of…Not even an Austin Ekeler showing could save him. It was over before it even got going. CeeDee Lamb going up and falling on his head on a rushed non-timeout play just before half didn’t help. Also what is wrong with Antonio Gibson, is this a sophomore slump? Like why is he not scoring more? Top kicker, and former Kcos guy T. Bass shows us all why kickers aren’t real football players, with a -1.0 point performance. Naz’s hopes for the loffs sits low. Parth needs to miss to save us from his team hahahahahahahahahaha

Welp I’m off to avoid the touch of gay that I inevitably face this week.

NAZ’S NOTES & AUCTION REPORT

- Nothing this week…

WEEKLY PAYOUTS

Week 11 Most Points: Parth

- Humza: $10

- Yaseer: $30

- Kyriacos: $30

- Sean: $10

- Parth: $20

- Nazim: $10

Week 11 Least Points: Kyriacos

- Kyriacos: 2

- Sean: 2

- Parth: 1

- Colten: 3

- Rimmel: 3

Kicker Impact in Week 11: None

YTD: 7x

- Ali: 2-2

- Alex: 2-1

- Sean: 1-0

- Colten: 0-1

- Parth: 0-1

- Ahsan: 1-0

- Kyriacos: 1-0

- Chris: 0-1

- Humza: 0-1

WEEK 11 POWER RANKINGS

WEEK 12 PREDICTIONS

Naz v Ali: 106-108

Ahsan v Colten: 87-102

Humza v Rimmel: 112-106

Parth v Yas: 110-126

Alex v Sean: 104-92

Chris v Kcos: 119-118

Top Scorer: Yas

Week 11 Predictions: 3-3

YTD: 30-30

WEEK 11 BETS REVIEW

Naz’s Pick-6 (Game Lines for Bets):

1. [L] Baltimore Ravens (-5.5) @ Chicago Bears

2. [L] Houston Texans @ Tennessee Titans (-9.5)

3. [L] Green Bay Packers (-1) @ Minnesota Vikings

4. [L] New Orleans Saints (+3) @ Philadelphia Eagles

5. [L] Miami Dolphins @ New York Jets (+3.5)

6. [L] San Francisco 49ers @ Jacksonville Jaguars (+6.5)

Week 11: 0-6 | -600

YTD: 30-32-3 | -780

Naz’s Daily Dump (FanDuel Daily for Bets - $60,000: 50/50 League):

[LOSER] 77/100

QB: Cam Newton - $7,500

RB: Mark Ingram II - $6,800

RB: AJ Dillon - $7,000

WR: Michael Gallup - $5,400

WR: DK Metcalf - $7,500

WR: Jamarr Chase - $7,700

TE: Mark Andrews - $7,000

FLEX: Darrell Williams - $6,300

DEF: Miami Dolphins - $4,800

YTD: 4-6 | -390

WEEK 12 BETS

Naz’s Pick-6 (Game Lines for Bets):

1. Tennessee Titans (+7) @ New England Patriots

2. Philadelphia Eagles (-3.5) @ New York Giants

3. New York Jets @ Houston Texans (-2.5)

4. Los Angeles Chargers (-2.5) @ Denver Broncos

5. Minnesota Vikings (+2.5) @ San Francisco 49ers

6. Seattle Seahawks (+1.5) @ Washington Football Team

Naz’s Daily Dump (FanDuel Daily for Bets - $60,000: 50/50 League):

QB: Can Newton - $8,000

RB: AJ Dillon - $6,900

RB: James Robinson - $7,600

WR: Nick Westbrook-Ikhine - $5,700

WR: Brandin Cooks - $6,500

WR: Jalen Waddle - $6,700

TE: Kyle Pitts - $6,600

FLEX: Jamarr Chase - $7,700

DEF: Philadelphia Eagles - $4,300