Week 4 LoL FFL Post:

BROUGHT TO YOU BY KYRIACOS

Hello. What can I help you with?

‘’What is fantasy football?’’

Fantasy football is a cruel and harsh competition in which participants select imaginary teams of players, that end up ruining your life, because they don’t produce the correct number of projected points, and ultimately, each week you want to slit your wrists, as you find out players on your bench outscored a starter. But it’s fun.

‘’What is a football player?’’

Anyone who wears a football helmet and does not kick the ball.

‘’What is a Chris Brooks?’’

Chris Brooks is a homosexual male who is not good at fantasy football.

Who will win the LoL Championship?

Kyriacos Mooneyhan, a true legend in the flesh.

‘’Is Yaseer’s team worthy of 4-0?’’

No.

‘’Who is Tommy Tremble?’’

I have no fucking clue.

Week 4 in review according to Siri

Parth vs Kyriacos

In this matchup Full Chode took on Half Cocked and both failed to reach climax. James Robinson provided Parth early arousal of what could cum. But no cumming came, as Logan Thomas was a ghost, the hometown Broncos got ran, and Tom Brady got TBag12’d. Parth took one look at his Fully Cocked bench and knew he had been had. Kyriacos limp dicked across the finish line to enjoy the slight satisfaction of 3-1. Parth falls to 1-3 and now must put his faith in the Polish TE, Mike Geiski in Week 5.

The Circle of Life

Nazim vs Rimmel

In this matchup Nazim took brotherly advice to start a tight end that was too unknown for me to identify. Tommy Tremble will forever be remembered as the overcomplicating decision that fantasy football produces each year. Nazim paid $2 for the Titans defense and they gave him nothing but pain. Pain is the word to sum up this year for Naz. Hope is the word to sum up Rimmel’s future. Rimmel is ahead of Naz in the standings now (without having a 1st round pick). MaXX Williams scores 15 points for no one. Tears were shed.

Ali vs Alex

The best matchup by far in Week 4. Two undefeated teams facing off and only one could remain lossless. David Montgomery tried to put the team on his back but got hurt like a true pansyass. Ultimately, Tyler Conklin over Hunter Henry decided this game. Terry McLaurin is performing on another level and heading into ‘’Scary October’’ that should only continue. Excellent win by Ali, but these teams will likely go deep and see each other again.

Sean vs Humza

Every aspect of what Sean did worked out and it was his week. Tyreek Hill was left in 1on1 coverage against a trash corner in Darius Slay. Google says this was a Mistake. The outcome is what Sean needed to get his confidence going. A championship run is undeniably in his future and this was step one. Sadly, Humza loses Chris Carson to injury and his team couldn’t withstand a WaliAssWhooping. Sean takes the W.

Chris vs Colten

The worst fantasy player to have ever lived has fallen once again. Chris paid $100 for a defense just to lose him 5 points, in a week where Dalvin Cook might as well have been a kicker, because he was irrelevant. Colten on the other hand, actually sleeps with women, and earned the W. Even though his defense also lost him points, Saquon Barkley put his syntheticACL nutz in Chris’s face. Unfortunately, this has always been his preference. Great job by Colt45 and 2ZigZags!

Yaseer vs Ahsan

Yaseer Parupia is 4-0 and it makes no sense to the majority of fantasy football leagues. Two TEs underwhelmed but two last names, Davis Mills is the Team MVP as he gave him a free 21 points. Kicker/athlete Matt Prater outscored 5 of his 6 skills position players. Ahsan becomes the only 0-4 team in the league, but Kyriacos vows to beat Yaseer in his honor this week. The MonSuckas still await their first victory. Google says soon.

Sam Darnold

NAZIM RECAP FROM THE PREVIOUS WEEK

· Yaseer stays undefeated while Ahsan remains winless

· Battle of the undefeated, Ali comes up victorious

· Score predictions were not even close in week 4

· Per BR, least points this week had to attempt to eat 20 hot dogs in 20 minutes live on

social media

· Ahsan changes his name, still loses.

· Thank you for finally changing your name Parth!

· Sean follows up least points with most points…

· Kyriacos, Ali, and Yaseer all with 90+% chance of making the playoffs, per ESPN. I am

now the lowest at a whooping 3%. Despite being tied for a playoff spot and 2-2,

Rimmel still is only at 12%. On the flipside, Humza is 1-3, but is at 77%.

AUCTION REPORT

- I got Damien Williams for $57 over Yas ($34), Colten ($28), Humza ($15), Ali ($11), Rimmel ($3). Alex didn’t even bother to try and replace his injured RB… curious.

- Chris got Darnell Mooney for $20 over Humza ($15)

- I got Jamison Crowder for $12

- Yas got Samaje Perine for $11 and AJ Green for $9

Urban Meyer continuing to make poor decisions when it comes to tight ends

WEEKLY PAYOUTS

Week 4 Most Points: Sean

- Humza: $10

- Yaseer: $10

- Kyriacos: $10

- Sean: $10

Week 4 Least Points: Parth

- Kyriacos: 1

- Sean: 2

- Parth: 1

Kicker Impact in Week 4: Alex > Ali

YTD: 2x

Ali now has 2 wins because we have a kicker spot

WEEK 4 POWER RANKINGS

What do y’all think about this? Let me know.

WEEK 5 PREDICTIONS

Humza v Naz: 88-103

Rimmel v Ali: 90-114

Sean v Alex: 93-94

Colten v Parth: 116-101

Ahsan v Chris: 106-108

Yaseer v Kcos: 99-127

Top Scorer: Kcos

Week 4 Predictions: 3-3

YTD: 8-10

WEEK 4 BETS REVIEW

FIRST BAD WEEK OF THE SEASON! Let’s hope this trend does not continue…

Naz’s Pick-6 (Game Lines for Bets):

1. [L] Tennessee Titans (-7) @ New York Jets

2. [W] Seattle Seahawks (+3) @ San Francisco 49ers

3. [W] Baltimore Ravens (+1) @ Denver Broncos

4. [L] Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-6.5) @ New England Patriots

5. [L] Cleveland Browns @ Minnesota Vikings (+1.5)

6. [L] Arizona Cardinals @ Los Angeles Rams (-5)

Week 4: 2-4 | -280

YTD: 12-10-2 | -60

Naz’s Daily Dump (FanDuel Daily for Bets - $60,000: 50/50 League):

[LOSER] 73/100

QB: Josh Allen - $8,500

RB: Zack Moss - $6,000

RB: Chubba Hubbard - $6,300

WR: Cordarrelle Patterson - $6,000

WR: Michael Pittman Jr. - $5,800

WR: Devonte Adams - $8,100

TE: Travis Kelce - $8,200

FLEX: Tim Patrick - $6,100

DEF: New Orleans Saints - $4,800

YTD: 1-2 | -210

WEEK 5 BETS

Naz’s Pick-6 (Game Lines for Bets):

1. San Francisco 49ers @ Arizona Cardinals (-5)

2. New England Patriots @ Houston Texans (+8)

3. Tennessee Titans (-4.5) @ Jacksonville Jaguars

4. Miami Dolphins @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-10)

5. Green Bay Packers (-3) @ Cincinnati Bengals

6. New York Giants @ Dallas Cowboys (-7)

Naz’s Daily Dump (FanDuel Daily for Bets - $60,000: 50/50 League):

QB: Kyler Murray - $8,500

RB: Damien Williams - $5,800

RB: Chubba Hubbard - $6,700

WR: Devonte Adams - $8,200

WR: DeAndre Hopkins - $7,500

WR: CeeDee Lamb - $6,900

TE: Dalton Shultz - $6,200

FLEX: Samaje Perine - $5,600

DEF: New Orleans Saints - $4,600