2022 Week 10 LoL FFL Post:

BROUGHT TO YOU BY KYRIACOS

Damn the feds got me, I was just trying to defraud a couple of poor families to buy my daughters’ affection with a new volleyball stadium in good ole Mississippeh. Medicaid people are the whole reason this country is in the mess it is in the 1st place. So, I was doing everyone a favor really. I didn’t drink a bunch of alcohol in the early 90s and take all those pills in the late 90s to just become a joke now. I didn’t send the perfect angled small chode dick pic to a New York reporter, just to become a joke now. I didn’t retire, then unretire, then reretire, then unreretire again and again in 2010 just to become a fucking joke now! I didn’t throw the most interceptions in NFL history to be laughed at on the nightly news, every, single night man!!! What the fuck! Y’all breaking me with this shit. Oh wait, that’s right, NO ONE seems to care. Shit, I didn’t even have to write one of those notes’ app apologies on Twitter. It’s like my dead daddy always told me, ‘’Just do rich people crimes and ain’t nobody gonna cover that shit and them regular ass people just gonna fucking forget Brett. Now let me spank and abuse your ass so you run and throw better boy!’’ He was always a loving daddy. He knew that hitting me made me better and more focused. Like a Clydesdale in them Budweiser commercials, I just needed to be disciplined. Man, I love drinking them Buds in my fucking Levi’s. That’s the nonMedicaid America I used to love and defend. Not this ‘poor excuse’ of a country we gots now. All diverse and nondrinking, all Allah loving. Haraam. It’s like back in my junior year at Southern Mississippeh when I wrapped my car around that tree and got like super hurt, but definitely wasn’t drinking or on drugs that day, just super hurt. Coach said, ‘’You nearly died son, but gahdamnit we got a ball game to win.’’ And right then and there I told my doctor to take out 18 inches of my small/large intestine because I gotta be there for my team. I’m just a Team Guy who loved the camera on me. That’s the story I want y’all to remember, not all these small/minor big government colluding infractions that barely tarnished my name today!

Let’s get into the games:

Kyriacos vs Humza

First up we got two names I can’t even begin to spell or fucking say. What In the Mohammad jihad is this shit: KyJellyBoi? Well Ky, I’ll call you Ky. Nice win here bud. Daddy Fields sent you over the top with almost 40 points. The rest of your team is straight dog shit. You believed that a Raiders led defense would do anything vs the Colts? I once beat the Raiders on MNF the day after my daddy died. I fucking threw 4 TDs, and everyone thought I was a hero. Man, how times have changed. HumDude over here had a rough go of it this week. It’s tough when your kicker is your 2nd leading scorer. Ky was lucky with the timing of bye weeks because the kid Lamar woulda raked him over the coals like he was a Food Stamps recipient in Mississippeh. HumDude about gonna need to enroll in EBT here in a minute because his team is spent.

Next up

Nazim vs Colten

There we go finally a freaking pronounceable name, C-olt-en thank the good Lord above. Shit this post is the hardest thing I’ve done in the last 10 years since trying to ingratiate myself with all these polices elites. Trust me half the names in this league wouldn’t fly in the Deep South. Looking ahead, Sean, Alex and Christina might pass. Especially Christina, I got my own Wisconsin Badger lockerroom pic for you Christina. But back to the game. Nazir or whatever got ultra-lucky here. I mean dude was dead to rights before my Packers forgot how to cover CeeDee Lamb. It was great to see the Cowboys lose in Lambeau though. However, 32 points from CeeDee was the difference in this matchup. I feel bad for my red-blooded American Colt who seemed to get screwed over by a Kyle. What in the tarnation were the 49ers doing? Not giving the ball to CMC. That’s a complete joke. Almost as big a joke as my good guy persona while I was still playing. Well, congrats Nazeem, that’s cool you won and stuff, but I bet you wouldn’t pull the trigger on a 50-year-old QB with a cannon arm, and a can of dip he can spit farther than you can throw. I’m the Uncle Rico before they even thought up Uncle Rico. You hear boy?

Next up

Ali vs Ahsan

We got these two brothers. Atleast I think they’re brothers, who knows. Not brothers I can tell you that much. Ali Boombaye was what Mohammad Ali was chanting in Africa all those years back. My daddy said it meant ‘’Ali Kill Him’’ or something like that. Well in this one Ali definitely was the one killed. Honestly looking at this league, I think this kid is most likely going to enjoy a nice dinner with a Teddy Bear. Kirk Cousins played worse than me in the NFC Championship with the Vikings against the Saints and that’s saying a lot. My nonAllah believing ass is looking at A-San’s or however you say it’s roster and damn he could very well take the ship this year. I mean Mahomes, Jacobs, Jones, Cook, and Mike Evans, and TJ Hock, and Deebo. Like hot digging dog. Give the man the trophy.

Ali beat Kcos. Kcos beat Rimmel. Rimmel beat Humza. Humza beat Naz. Naz beat Chris. Chris beat Parth. Parth beat Ahsan. Ahsan beat Sean. Sean beat Yas. Yas beat Colten. Colten beat Alex. Therefore, Ali is the best team in the league! 😊

Christina vs Sean

Damn. Sean smacked this girl around like his name was Chris Brown. He didn’t even play a QB, and this girl still lost big. Sorry, I’m a gentleman who grew up respecting women. This ‘’lady’’ or this ‘’woman’’, but still Rape. Justin Jefferson and Christian Kirk drew the double team of Christina like a Defensive coordinator trying to run Nickel against my ass. Still not sure what Nickel even is. They passed Christina around like me on a deep pass in Cover 2 along the sidelines. AJ Brown wasn’t even a factor and still Sean won big. Christina can go cry like the little bitch that she is.

Yaseer vs Rimmel

My wife is a good-looking woman, but Rimmel is by far the best-looking person in this league. It’s sad Zeke was a bottom feeding bitch and couldn’t play allowing Tony Pollard to give Yazir the win. Unbelievable, almost as unbelievable as me stealing from the poor to feed my rich friends. I’m not a bad guy: fuck you Christina you cunt. Congrats Yazir. Nice job here. Almost as nice as my 2nd unretirement. Cowboys still lost.

Parth vs Alex

Alex lost again. JTay played a big game, kay! Very proud of Parth. So sad for Elway but great job Parth. Alex is on a slide. It’s all but over. Like my chances to ever have anyones respect again. J Allen also played lights out too. Great to see him come back from injury. You know I woulda played with 1 arm if I had too. That’s just me. Well, that’s all I got. Love you guys. Please forgive me: call me in jail. No, unlikely to get there. I’ll just pay a small fine and avoid anyone talking about this again. Kobe did it. I can too. RIP.

NAZ’S NOTES

- Another week, another injury. Unfortunately, it’s the one position I was not prepared to lose as I don’t have a good backup in place… Now, I join the ranks of being TE-less for weeks ☹

- Kyriacos has the 3rd least points this week but played the lowest scoring team and got a crucial victory in the race for last place

- Getting that extra win is huge, but the biggest key is that he now holds the tiebreaker over Humza as well, meaning he essentially has a 2-game lead now on avoiding the last place game, with only 4 games to go

- Looks like we’re now destined for an Ali v Humza showdown for last place this year! You’re welcome, Kyriacos for gifting you Fields to avoid an untimely demise

- There are now 5 teams at 6-4, meaning that one of these teams is on the outside looking in. It’s going to be a tight finish to say the least – ESPN has 7 teams at 75+% making the playoffs with only 6 spots… There are no guarantees anymore. 4 games left, 9 teams within striking distance of making the playoffs and winning their division. Another way to look at the closeness right now – there are 8 teams within 100 points of each other for scoring on the season through 10 weeks! That’s an average difference of < 10 points each week… Talk about close games. Just wow.

- I think I’ll save all the playoff scenarios until 2 weeks left. There are too many possibilities right now.

AUCTION REPORT

- Yas got Christian Watson for $29 over Chris ($20), Ali ($13), Alex ($5), Colten ($2)

- Alex got Foster Moreau for $17 over Naz ($7), Yas ($6), Ali ($4)

WEEKLY PAYOUTS

Week 10 Most Points: Ahsan

Totals YTD:

- Alex: $10

- Yaseer: $30

- Kyriacos: $10

- Rimmel: $10

- Naz: $20

- Parth: $10

- Ahsan: $10

Week 10 Least Points: Humza

Totals YTD:

- Kyriacos: 3

- Ali: 2

- Yaseer: 2

- Humza: 3

CLOSE GAMES (< 2-point difference)

Week 1: Rimmel [W] v Humza & Colten [W] v Ahsan

Week 2: Ali v Naz [W]

Week 3: Ali v Humza [W] & Naz [W] v Sean

Week 4: None

Week 5: None

Week 6: Colten v Rimmel [W]

Week 7: None

Week 8: Ahsan v Alex [W]

Week 9: None

Week 10: Kcos [W] v Humza

SEMI-CLOSE GAMES (5-point difference)

Week 1: None

Week 2: Ali v Naz [W]

Week 3: None

Week 4: Naz [W] v Rimmel

Week 5: Colten [W] v Parth

Week 6: Ahsan [W] v Humza

Week 7: None

Week 8: Chris [W] v Rimmel

Week 9: Naz v Ahsan [W] & Rimmel v Kcos [W]

Week 10: Yas [W] v Rimmel

WEEK 10 PREDICTIONS RESULTS

[L] Colten v Naz: 107-97

[W] Ahsan v Ali: 111-88

[L] Yas v Rimmel: 118-129

[W] Kcos v Humza: 85-78

[W] Chris v Sean: 84-115

[W] Parth v Alex: 112-108

Top Scorer: [L] Rimmel

Week 10: 4-2

YTD: 38-16

WEEK 11 PREDICTIONS

Naz v Parth: 96-112

Ali v Colten: 76-105

Rimmel v Ahsan: 87-107

Humza v Yas: 77-93

Sean v Kcos: 103-80

Alex v Chris: 114-82

Top Scorer: Alex

When you do nothing on the group project but still get an A

WEEK 10 BETS REVIEW

Naz’s Cover-4:

1. [W] Indianapolis Colts (+6) @ Las Vegas Raiders

2. [L] Dallas Cowboys (-5) @ Green Bay Packers

3. [W] Seattle Seahawks @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-3)

4. [W] New Orleans Saints @ Pittsburgh Steelers (+1.5)

Week 9: 3-1 | Net Profit: +180

YTD: 19-16-1 | -60

Back on track baby! 😊

WEEK 11 BETS

Naz’s Cover-4:

1. Tennessee Titans (+3) @ Green Bay Packers

2. Cincinnati Bengals (-4.5) @ Pittsburgh Steelers

3. San Francisco 49ers @ Arizona Cardinals (+7.5)

4. Cleveland Browns @ Buffalo Bills (-9.5)