2022 Week 2 LoL FFL Post

Nazim Parupia
Sep 22, 2022
6 min read

KYRIACOS WEEK 2 LoL FFL POST:

Anotha week anotha dolla, or anotha loss for some. I’m a tad tipsy writing this, but deadlines be deadlines. And I ain’t doing this shit for free!!! —-I’m paying $100 for the right to be this bad. And to write about it. What a joke. My pain is not your pain. It’s my pain. I’m in pain. And no one cares. I want to not have pain but Allah says, in Chapter 6, Line 12 ——‘’Pain makes you stronger.’’….I have decided to write this post as her majesty The Queen of England to ensure that I come back as the best animal or some shit in reincarnation. I don’t want to be a fucking plant in the afterlife. I want to be atop that food chain in the animal kingdom. Like a powerful fair skinned white lady in 1927 or whenever. That’s like the most evolved form of human kind. Minus the pedophilia.

Week 2 Recap

Ahsan vs Kyriacos

Alright ya fuckin blokes laugh all you want, you fookin bastards. Let’s tada and get this one out of the way. I suck dick. I’m the homo. My team is a bundle of sticks: F A G…..it’s tough. Ahsan dominated my face. Aaron Jones, like my time liberating Africa and India, came just a little too late. Tampa Bay’s defense played guard, like me paying off my son Andrew’s accusers against his alleged misconduct. The sad part about this contest is that I had no chance, like the time I had my daughter in law killed in a tunnel, with a paid for driver, who took his own life to keep the Monarchy going. No chance indeed, ya fooks. One Kingdom that officially died in week 2 was that of Team Kyriacos. Just dead. Dead like myself. D-E-A-D. Congrats to Ahsan! Rape is not condoned by my family. Unless it’s for gold or other nations precious resources. If that, then rape away, ya fookin wankas.

Dead Kyriacos

Sean vs Rimmel

Like my favorite son Charles, I’ll always cheer on Rimmel. Sadly, he let me down this week. The conspiracy site TuAnon was on fire with accusations against The Crown. The shots cut deep. But luckily we still have our beloved Thomas Brady to show our puppet government support. In the words of the disgruntled Gisele, ‘’He underperformed’’. The devastating Bills defense was upstaged by Brownie The Elf. A fookin Elf bloke on the midfield pitch, cost my man Rimmel a chance at utter victory. Disgraceful, like the incestuous family I come from. Great win for Sean. I will take a knee from my open casket during God save the Queen this year. But like Colin Kaepernick, my dreams are dead. D-E-A-D.

Humza vs Alex

Like the many many British colonies I have ruled over, this was a full onslaught. Even with a 42 point performance by Prince Jackson, of the Jackson 8, Humza couldn’t overcome this beating. Humza thought he would be cute, like the time Harry tried to leave our royal decree….He picked up the Nigerian TE that I left for dead. 0.0 points. Just like the Peace Corps’ efforts to save the continent we pillaged. He did nothing. That’s why I dropped him like the Meghan Markel he is. Don’t get me started on that bitch. Speaking of bitch, that’s what Alex will be making us all soon. I got him winning it all honestly. For how drunk he was drafting, it’s amazing to see it all come together. Like my plan to put my face on all the money, we will be reprinting $600 soon with Alex’s face on it. YaaaaasssKing. Yaaas.

Yas vs Colten

Speaking of Yaaaaaas, this was the Game of the Week. Derrick Fookin Henry had 8.5 points as a mediocre bloke, and still Yaseer ‘’Not Welcome In India’’ Parupia had 152.8 points. What a wild finish. The half German Amon St. Brown took over the fookin game like the 3rd Reich depended on it. Even with trash Derek Carr at QB, Yas managed the most points this week. Both these teams will be players in the end. But this week Colten got the plot of land next to my headstone, which read, ‘’Here’s Lies A Man’’. When they exhumed the body they found Prince Charles and Camila having another affair. The bitches. Congrats Yas. Stop the rape.

How did they all win on the same day

Naz vs Ali

I mean what even was this? How is this not the greatest fall of all time? How did Naz win? What is up? Is the Royal Family not the light of the world? Why is it all different now? I miss the days when you just said jump and they did it. Speaking of Just Do It, it is the opposite of what Cole Kmet is doing. Also Adam Thielen tried to colonize Naz’s brain there for a minute. But sadly operation Dumbo Drop was a fail #WhitePower. How do we help Naz? Since he knows this has huge publicity following this, it is only fair to ask why did this have to happen. Why couldn’t Naz have a slight bit of hope left? I guess just let him lay there and think about all those DMs he slid into. He will trade till the day he dies. Go big fookin bloke, or go home.

My consistent 7-7 records over the years...

Chris vs Parth

Man I gotta break character for a second and say that before her death, Queen Elizabeth did not know who Chris Brooks even was. She did not care about his flamboyant sexual identification or his negative opinion on Deshaun Watson. But now the Broncos are stuck in reverse, not ability to Ride. Sadly, this is such a joke. Because I don’t know if these kids are ready for a black queen. But we’ve all seen Suits, what a sexy beast. Sorry Chris, she’s hideous. Yeah but Chris stays 2-0. He deserves his due. I hate him but I respect.

Please read this post in full. Thanks the Queen her majesty, dead so good that you could keep searching for lost jewelry. Up my snatch tootsie roll. #SouljaBoiTellEm

Chris is the New York Giants

NAZIM WEEK 2 LoL FFL POST

INJURIES SUCK. MY LUCK SUCKS AS USUAL. I SHALL GO CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP NOW. THIS YEAR & NEXT YEAR ARE WASTED. ☹

AUCTION REPORT

- Alex picked up Cowboys D/ST for $16

- Sean picked up Panthers D/ST for $10

- Ali picked up Washington’s offense for $13 (J.D. McKissic for $7 & Logan Thomas for $6)

- Chris picked up Texans D/ST for $5

- Ali picked up Sterling Shepard for $5

- Naz Picked up Nelson Agholor for $2 and Eagles D/ST for $1

- Kyriacos picked up Jerick McKinnon for FREE

The Ravens after blowing a 21-point lead in the 4th quarter

THE NAZ START

Last year we looked at starts of 0-2 and 2-0, and what it meant for the end of the season. We saw 4 teams at each record last year, 0-2, 1-1, and 2-0. This year, we have one less team undefeated and winless, which means half the league now sits at 1-1. Last year we noted that 0-2 teams as well as 2-0 teams haven’t won a championship since 2016. This proved to be true again last year as Rimmel started the season 1-1. Will the same thing occur this year? I guess the money is on Alex, Sean, Chris, Kyriacos, Humza, and Ali not winning the championship… I’d take those odds, but time will tell.

It's also always fun to look at the playoff percentages according to ESPN. Kyriacos and Ali are now at the bottom at 9% and 11%, respectively, which I think is generous at this point. Colten, Alex, and Sean lead the way with 70+%. Everyone else is in the 50-60s%, except for me and Humza who sit in the 30s%. Alex is dominating point scoring and differentials with 275 points through 2 weeks and an almost 100-point difference in scoring. Impressive, but that 2-0 record does not bode well.

WEEKLY PAYOUTS

Week 2 Most Points: Yaseer

Totals YTD:

- Alex: $10

- Yaseer: $10

Week 2 Least Points: Kyriacos

Totals YTD:

- Kyriacos: 1

- Ali: 1

WEEK 2 SCORE PREDICTIONS RESULTS:

[W] Ali vs Naz: 101-105

[L] Sean v Rimmel: 92-112

[W] Humza v Alex: 102-123

[L] Yas v Colten: 90-124

[W] Ahsan v Kyriacos: 109-87

[L] Parth v Chris: 104-103

Top Scorer: [L] Colten

Week 2: 3-3

YTD: 3-3

Yaseer had to take out my prediction for most points to get the dub and get the $10 for most points this week. Tip of the cap to everyone that went off for his team. Colten, despite scoring the 4th most points this week, takes the L. Kinda crazy that 4th most points was 126 points and 4th lowest was 75 points… 50 point spread between the middle there – just insane!