2022 Week 7 LoL FFL Post:

BROUGHT TO YOU BY KYRIACOS

Well boys, we are halfway through the regular season of fantasy football this year! It felt like yesterday that I was justifying the Holocaust to each and every one of you in Arizona. My, how time flies. It was an honor to shake each of your hands, minus Chris, and you know why. Eww so sticky. The Cowboys are 5-2? That’s so weird. The Bucs are 3-4? That’s so weird. The United Fruit Company was an American multinational corporation that traded in tropical fruit (primarily bananas) grown on Latin American plantations and sold in the United States and Europe? The company was formed in 1899 from the merger of the Boston Fruit Company with other banana-trading enterprises? It flourished in the early and mid-20th century, and it came to control vast territories and transportation networks in Central America, the Caribbean coast of Columbia and the West Indies? Although it competed with the Stanford Fruit Company (later Dole Food Company) for dominance in the international banana trade, it maintained a virtual monopoly in certain regions, some of which came to be called banana republics – such as Costa Rica, Honduras, and Guatemala? This fun capitalist fact is brought to you by The Communist Manifesto, written by our very own Chris Brooks. Chris, do you have anything you would like to say. Ope, that banana too far down your throat. All good.

Let’s get into the games.

Naz vs Kyriacos

Kyriacos sucks bro. He’s trash. What a trash person in general. Why does he even try to be a person. Garbage person. Not quality as a human. Giving up is on the table, for his life. End it bro. Do it. Do it. Just do it. 1-800-U-SUCK-BRO. www.utheworstfantasyplayerofalltime.com The election coming up and instead of Vote or die, just die bro. Find a bucket, line it up, and kick it. Take some daisies and push them up a hill. Find some land and buy the farm. Get yourself a pet frog and croak you bitch. Take a handful of sand and bite it you fuck! Thank you for letting me indulge in self harm. Congrats to Naz on another trophy. They laughed at you. I even made a joke a couple posts back where I said, ‘’Try and trade your way out of this one.’’ And you did it. You fucking did it.

Humza vs Colt

Less than 4 points for Leonard FOURnette? I mean you can’t make this stuff up. Less than 11 for a guy who shares the last name with Michael Jackson, makes sense. Child rape joke. Jonathan Taylor Thomas the age he was on Full House, 12. George Kittle like he likes his girl’s IDs, 18+. Raheem Motsert and Eno Benjamin out score Mr. 1st overall. What is happening. Mark Andrews scores 4 times the championship differential last year. 0.4. Fantasy is crazy bro. You legit never know what’s going to happen. Except for me and Ali losing. Congrats Colt45And2ZigZags. Baby that’s all we need. We can go to the park and smoke that tumbleweed.

Sean vs Ahsan

Josh Jacobs, Aaron Jones and Patrick Mahomes are all lethal for Ahsan. AJ Dillon, Brandon Cooks, and Zach Ertz. I think it’s going to be a nice end to the year for him. Sean on the other hand not so much. I’m sorry. It’s tough. I fortunately know the misery of losing. I personally have deemed myself a loser. 1-800-KEEP-GOING-BRO. Somehow Ahsan survives a horrible outing from Deebo Samuel, Courtland Sutton and the Tampa Bay Defense. Tom Brady will need to perform better in divorce court than he did against the Panthers. Also, side note, the Atlanta Falcons have a legit chance to win their division.

Alex vs Yas

Alex stays undefeated. He’s 7-0. He survived losing Breece Hall and Dan Bellinger to season ending injuries. And a 3 INT performance from Kenny Pickett. If Amon St. Brown doesn’t leave the game with a concussion, that Yas attended, he wins. If he finally gave up on Derek Carr, he would have won. If Mike Gesiski would have actually found a way to get open, he woulda won. Crazy outcome. Alex prolly has a 100% of making the playoffs now. Naz will let us know. What a G. Dude was throwing up all his dinner that one night but now he’s just puking on our heads. Big timing these dudes. Keep it up, the white delegation is proud!

Rimmel vs Parth

Parth starts an injured James Robinson for some reason? 0.0 points scored. As useless as a Russell Wilson Subway commercial. Kyle Pitts his usual self for Parth. 2.4 points on 3 catches. That’s my 4th overall pick right there! ATL!! Austin Ekeler is a legit dawg! He gets the best garbage time points. Call him Mr. Trash Can, sorry Chris. Go Stros. Rimmel has 0.0 points from Michael Gallup and -1.0 from the Jags defense. But his clutch kicker was his 2nd highest scorer with 16 points. Ridiculous. Not a athlete. Me and Ali in the kicker battle this week. Should be fun. Congrats again to my sweet, sweet Rimmel. I would have guessed Spin Class within 0.1 seconds of you riding the bike. But we got the connection no doubt. My dawg.

Ali vs The Infamous LilGBaby

This dude right here. This fucking dude. Escaped. How? Wtf? So tired of his bullshit. Fucking DJ Moore. R U KIDDING ME? Dude woke up right when me and Ali didn’t need him to. Can my dude get a W? Ali has been putting in that work on the waiver wire and nothing. Not a single victory. Even a dude without a pick until 69 overall somehow got it done. This is a joke. I lay down my roster this week to help. I am Alexander Hamilton vs Aaron Burr. I point my kicking arrow to the sky and say may the best man win. Chris, you suck ass. I can’t believe you would do that to a medicine man who treats kids. You ungrateful fuck! Just because your childhood was completely awful doesn’t mean you need to ruin Ali’s. Dude just got a big boy job and you shitting all over his dreams? Well, I won’t stand for it. You son of a communist!! I hope the state takes all of your wages and leaves you penniless starving in the streets, you Marxist buttfucking asshole! How could you? How dare you? I hope you lose every week from here on out. Stay woke.

NAZ’S NOTES

- Alex actually is still at 99% chance to make it to the playoffs... lol

- Man, did we have some trades go down! Humza over here being a GM, working the trade deadline wires – so much fun to see

- A bit of an overpay in my opinion from Parth and Ahsan, but Ahsan had the assets to make that move and he’s in a position to make a run with the current division lead and an 88% chance to make the playoffs

- On the other hand, I’m a little lost by the move from Parth… selling the whole future, when he’s at 3-4, not in a playoff spot, and with a 44% chance to make the playoffs. It is a bold move, there’s no doubt about that! But if it doesn’t pay off, you may end up like Ali, not successful this year and tanking next year because of it. Theoretically, now a stacked team, but injuries can still happen, and what if the Bills trade for a running back? Is there enough depth to win it all? A tough schedule ahead too playing Sean, Alex, and myself with only 7 games to go – this will be a fun watch!

- Ali, Humza, Kcos, and Chris are now the odd men out – they are now in don’t end up in the last place game and lose it – Good luck to you all, especially Humza and Chris since we are now allied…

- Ali has been statistically eliminated from making the playoffs now – a 0% chance

- Kcos has made 61 moves?!? WTH…

- My top 2 picks next year – 1st round, then 11th round… GG. On the bright side, I will be able to successfully run the whole draft without worrying about my own picks lol

AUCTION REPORT

- Humza got Michael Carter for $80 over Parth ($78), Kcos ($71), Naz ($17), Sean ($15), Colten ($12), Ali ($3)

- Colten got Gus Edwards for $51 over Kcos ($37), Chris ($20), Rimmel ($15), Ali ($11)

- Sean got Cardinals D/ST for $18?!?! Over no one…

- Kcos got Daniel Jones for $13 over Chris ($12), Colten ($8), Ali ($1)

TRADE RECAPS:

Humza Receives:

- 2023 1st round pick, 2024 2nd round pick, and 2024 3rd round pick from Parth (for Jonathan Taylor & George Kittle)

- 2023 3rd round pick from Ahsan (for Mike Evans, Ahsan gets 2023 12th round pick in return)

- 2023 2nd round pick, 2023 11th round pick (becomes 10th if Nazim makes the playoffs), and 2024 6th round pick (if Nazim wins the championship this year) from Nazim (for Leonard Fournette)

Some notes here:

- In 2023, Humza now has 2x 1st, 2x 2nd, and 2x 3rd – not a bad haul

- In 2024, Humza now has 2x 2nd and 2x 3rd + 6th if I win – he’s got picks for days

- We have some interesting storylines now going into next year – should be a fun ride for the future, I’m excited!

- Parth and Colten are now without 1st round picks next year

- ALL FUTURE DRAFT PICKS TRADED can be seen under the Future Picks Traded tab under Standings

WEEKLY PAYOUTS

Week 7 Most Points: Naz

Totals YTD:

- Alex: $10

- Yaseer: $20

- Kyriacos: $10

- Rimmel: $10

- Naz: $20

Week 7 Least Points: Kcos

Totals YTD:

- Kyriacos: 3

- Ali: 2

- Yaseer: 2

CLOSE GAMES

Week 1: Rimmel [W] v Humza & Colten [W] v Ahsan

Week 2: Ali v Naz [W]

Week 3: Ali v Humza [W] & Naz [W] v Sean

Week 4: Naz [W] v Rimmel

Week 5: None

Week 6: Colten v Rimmel [W]

Week 7: None

WEEK 7 PREDICTIONS RESULTS

[W] Naz v Kcos: 102-74

[W] Humza v Colten: 101-110

[W] Sean v Ahsan: 98-108

[L] Alex v Yas: 97-102

[W] Ali v Chris: 82-83

[W] Rimmel v Parth: 105-97

Top Scorer: [L] Colten

Week 7: 5-1

YTD: 25-11

We’re rolling now! 😊

WEEK 8 PREDICTIONS

Yas v Naz: 118-107

Colten v Sean: 102-105

Ahsan v Alex: 122-110

Kcos v Ali: 65-68

Chris v Rimmel: 84-99

Parth v Humza: 109-79

Top Scorer: Ahsan

Alabama QB's

WEEK 7 BETS REVIEW

Not a bad week! 😊

Naz’s Cover-4:

1. [W] Detroit Lions @ Dallas Cowboys (-7)

2. [L] Cleveland Browns @ Baltimore Ravens (-6)

3. [W] New York Jets (+1) at Denver Broncos

4. [W] Kansas City Chiefs (-3) at San Francisco 49ers

Week 7: 3-1 | Net Profit: +180

YTD: 14-9-1 | +280

WEEK 8 BETS

Naz’s Cover-4:

1. Miami Dolphins (-3.5) @ Detroit Lions

2. Las Vegas Raiders (-2) @ New Orleans Saints

3. Washington Commanders @ Indianapolis Colts (-3)

4. San Francisco 49ers @ Los Angeles Rams (+1.5)