2022 Week 9 LoL FFL Post:

BROUGHT TO YOU BY KYRIACOS

As the person who ACTUALLY got the most votes in history, I would like to say THANK YOU. It’s an honor being your 45th and 47th President of these semi-United States of America. First off, I want to say that Nefarious Nazim is a nasty nasty man. He doesn’t want what’s best for our league. Trust me I KNOW. He tried to steal this trophy selection from us all. But we can’t let that happen folks. He will try time and time again to make back room deals to better his own position. He will work every angle because he’s been in the SWAMP for far too long. No one knows that better than me. I’m a very very smart man. And I know we need YOU THE PEOPLE of this great league to march on the commissioner’s office and take our league back. No matter the cost. Take selfies with his laptop, changing his lineup to all kickers if you can. Alex, wear your Viking horns as you take a literally dump on his future trade proposal notes. Chris changes his voicemail greeting to match your gay sex worker burner phone. Ali finds a way to catch him in the hallway and perform a pediatric prostrate exam. We need to do anything to STOP this man folks. This has gone on for too long. I would like to commend Ahsan for his bravory last week and victory. I personally like my war hero’s non-Muslim so no gold star for you. But I will send out a future Truth Social tweet to let the people know how proud we all are. I still plan to build my wall, but it turns out we need A LOT less materials folks. I just need a 12 by 12 wall around Chris to keep everyone safe from his unwanted advances. He tried to grab Sweet Rimmel by the dick the other day. Which is not okay folks. I met with my lawyer through the jailhouse 2-way-glass, and he informed me that I’m immune to any homophobic legal action. It actually seems like I could literally shoot a Chris on 5th avenue, and I would likely gain votes. This is the GREATEST LEAGUE in the history of leagues, and it’s just so sad what it’s become. ‘’I’ll trade you this conditional future 2024 pick, for this future political favor.’’ That’s Quid-Pro-Quo ladies (Chris) and gentlemen; and that’s NOT OKAY. Lastly, I want to say FUCK U CHRISTOPHER BROOKS!!!! U RAT BASTARD, SEE U IN HELL YA FUCK!!! This ad was brought to you by the 2024 and 2028 and 2032 ad campaign for Donald J. Trump and I approve this message. Let’s jump into the games, folks:

45/47 vs Sweet Rimmel

First off, let’s start with ME, of course. I single handedly WON AGAIN. Listen, I’m a VERY smart man. I went to the Wharton School of Business. I’m a self-made quasibillionaire with only some help from my father’s slimy real estate ventures. VERY SMART MAN! So, I used that intellect to know that Justin Fields would set the single game rushing yard record for yards in a game by a QB. This is what I do folks. Sweet Rimmel didn’t stand a chance after he was very very mean to me last election cycle. Not good. Not good at all. I demand a recount because it was RIGGED! Trust me folks, I know. I know. Stop the steal. I won that game last year, fair and square! I would like to thank David Montgomery for doing just like Kellyanne Conway and disappearing forever. Great to see. I will likely see Rimmel again. I’m not a guy who gets wrapped up in ego, but I would like to end with a CONGRATS TO ME!!!

@ColtNotTheReal45 vs OneLoss Alex

It finally happened folks. I kept saying this day would come. And the FAKE NEWS MEDIA kept lying to the American People. They don’t want to believe me. They want to spread lies that a team can go undefeated in a fantasy league with so much parity. Not true folks! Not true at all. @ColtNotTheReal45 showed us all that anything is possible. Like the time Crooked Hillary called my supporters a basket of deplorables; Alex’s league low 83.8 points is all that I see that’s deplorable. Like most of cabinet, it was an honor to see Saquon, Tyler Higbee and Breece Hall locked up on the bench. A truly historic day for the league. Me and Mercury Morris have popped the champagne at Mar-a-Lago. Congrats to @ColtNotTheReal45.

Nefarious Nazim vs Arabic Ahsan

As I stated before, it was great to see this folk. This was Bigly needed for our league. We the shithole teams of this league need to band together to only start our best. We can’t let the Ryan Tannehill’s of the world into our lineups. We need to keep the bloodlines pure with truly superior talent that comes in from the waiver wire to stop Mr. Nefarious. Stormy Daniels got me in touch with Michael Pittman Jr. and he accepted my tax-free pay off taken directly from Trump Charity fund. I love using this loophole to get what I want. Alvin Kamara attempted to assault me, when I offered the same, but we were able to sway him in the end. Nefarious Nazim falls 5-4! Never thought I’d say this because it is me, but Arabic Ahsan is the Muslim we didn’t deserve.

LastPlace Ali vs YasBoss

I don’t show empathy much, but what Ali has been going through is heart breaking. He laughed at me when I picked Rashaad Penny, but now who’s laughing? This is a good man folks, he’s just lost, he lost again. Derrick Henry and Tyreek Hill alone almost beat him. Tyreek Hill is a human football cheat code. Very nice to see. I wouldn’t rent him one of my apartments, but I will watch him on TV. I’m not really sure about his coach. He looks like ‘’one of the good ones’’ but I’ve heard otherwise, possibly from his mother’s side. I didn’t help that Ali’s number 1 pick was Absent Najee. Just sat there on the bench not helping at all. Sounds like Sleepy Joe to me! Great win by YasBoss.

KneelingSOB Sean vs MenCantGetPregnant Parth

WOW! The points here were absolutely incredible folks. A true gem to watch. Both teams would have won against many different matchups. Joe Mixon alone almost outscored Ali. I do want to take a moment to say get that SOB Sean up off his knee and respect our flag & our troops! If I was an actual billionaire with an NFL team, I would cut that SOB so fast!!! Might be tough sledding now for Parth with Josh Allen out next week. Overall, a great game. The schedule sadly wasn’t in that KneelingSOB favor. Congrats Parth—

Haraamza vs Fagalicious Chris

Chris is my personal Rosie O’Donnell, just a true eye sore on the league. Not a good man/gay. He would have lost to everyone besides Ali and Haraamza, but the schedule God’s were in his favor. Non athlete Nick Folk almost outscored every one of Haraamza’s players individually. Just crazy to say that outloud. I will be doing everything in more power to investigate this for Russian collusion, you commie bastard Chris. I like my war hero’s not communist. These are just words folks, don’t come after me. Chris is likely smoking that ganja lettuce now while reading this post. We on the right, won’t let you corrupt our kids Chris! You sick fuck! You can’t keep changing them into your little rainbow-colored dresses! Florida has already made it illegal to say your fantasy team name in the classroom and we hope more will follow suit! I hope Chris loses every game from here on out. To close this, the Orange Wave is coming folks, TRUST ME! Elon Musk is currently working to get me my platform but until then this post is all I have. Make sure to follow me on Truth Social! Make an account and follow me. I’m a BIG deal on there. See you in the White House soon! Not that White House @Michael_Irvin88.

NAZ’S NOTES

- Pain. Just Pain. I don’t want to talk about it ☹

AUCTION REPORT

- No significant bids this week & no outbids this week

WEEKLY PAYOUTS

Week 9 Most Points: Parth

Totals YTD:

- Alex: $10

- Yaseer: $30

- Kyriacos: $10

- Rimmel: $10

- Naz: $20

- Parth: $10

Week 9 Least Points: Humza

Totals YTD:

- Kyriacos: 3

- Ali: 2

- Yaseer: 2

- Humza: 2

CLOSE GAMES (< 2-point difference)

Week 1: Rimmel [W] v Humza & Colten [W] v Ahsan

Week 2: Ali v Naz [W]

Week 3: Ali v Humza [W] & Naz [W] v Sean

Week 4: None

Week 5: None

Week 6: Colten v Rimmel [W]

Week 7: None

Week 8: Ahsan v Alex [W]

Week 9: None

SEMI-CLOSE GAMES (5-point difference)

Week 1: None

Week 2: Ali v Naz [W]

Week 3: None

Week 4: Naz [W] v Rimmel

Week 5: Colten [W] v Parth

Week 6: Ahsan [W] v Humza

Week 7: None

Week 8: Chris [W] v Rimmel

Week 9: Naz v Ahsan [W] & Rimmel v Kcos [W]

WEEK 9 PREDICTIONS RESULTS

[W] Naz v Ahsan: 96-112

[W] Alex v Colten: 86-93

[W] Ali v Yas: 81-103

[L] Rimmel v Kcos: 110-69

[W] Humza v Chris: 79-85

[W] Sean v Parth: 108-109

Top Scorer: [L] Ahsan

Week 9: 5-1

YTD: 34-14

Seems 5-1 is tradition now…

WEEK 10 PREDICTIONS

Colten v Naz: 107-97

Ahsan v Ali: 111-88

Yas v Rimmel: 118-129

Kcos v Humza: 85-78

Chris v Sean: 84-115

Parth v Alex: 112-108

Top Scorer: Rimmel

WEEK 9 BETS REVIEW

Naz’s Cover-4:

1. [W] Las Vegas Raiders @ Jacksonville Jaguars (+1.5)

2. [L] Miami Dolphins (-5.5) @ Chicago Bears

3. [L] Minnesota Vikings (-3.5) @ Washington Commanders

4. [L] Seattle Seahawks @ Arizona Cardinals (-2)

Week 9: 1-3 | Net Profit: -260

YTD: 16-15-1 | -240

Not going well here anymore… ☹

WEEK 10 BETS

Naz’s Cover-4:

1. Indianapolis Colts (+6) @ Las Vegas Raiders

2. Dallas Cowboys (-5) @ Green Bay Packers

3. Seattle Seahawks @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-3)

4. New Orleans Saints @ Pittsburgh Steelers (+1.5)