2024 Week 2 LoL FFL Post:

Nazim Parupia
Sep 19, 2024
10 min read

Hello everyone,

It’s your friendly Cat-loving, 9-lives living, MAGA hat wearing, Orange-skin-tone having, 45th and 47th president of these ‘Semi-United States’…..

Donald-John-Trump

Most of you had NO idea that my middle name was even John, right? How little you know about a person, that seems to never die. That’s correct. They cannot kill me. It reminds me of many other famous men with John, in their name.

John Lennon, John F. Kennedy, Abraham John Lincoln—-All VERY very dead. Extremely dead. Me, however? Not so much! NOT DEAD! Still very, VERY A-L-I-V-E. No matter how hard the Liberals try, I won’t be killed. I am the GREATEST Non-dead president EVER. Well, even among the dead ones, compared to me, there is NO comparison. Speaking of the dead ones, one of my 2016 voters is in here!!! Thank you, Christopher Brooks. But you might as well be dead too! Your fantasy team could be the worst fantasy team in the history of teams. Never has the world known a worst fantasy manager. And trust me, I have managed many things. And Chris is, by far, THE worst. And from what I’m told, THE gayest also. You see I know a great deal of things. I have a fantastic judge of character, and I can already tell, I don’t like Chris.

As my campaign team works hard on our 100th A.I. Kitten meme in the last 24 hours, I sit on my golden Trump toilet, attempting to take a shit, while recapping your Week 2 of games. I do have a campaign rally tonight, so I’ll have to make this quick. Many, MANY illegal immigrants to blame for our problems tonight. So much work to be done!! Oh wow, my advisors tell me that we have some immigrant families in this group? And even possibly some Muslims? Oh my. I will need to increase my security measures, but I promise to finish this post, behind bullet proof plexiglass.

Okay so let’s get started…

Sean vs Rimmel

I can’t believe this. Such a close margin. Reminds me of the time, a couple of months back, when I turned to look at that beautiful, beautiful chart. That chart that showed how well I did on illegal Mexican border crossings, when at that very fateful moment, a pimple-faced virgin, like Chris was so many years ago, pulled the trigger from only 150 yards away, the same length of a football field, and half of another one. And a bullet grazed my ear. Just the same, Sean survived by a very close margin. And with his first-round pick Tyreek Hill scoring the least points on his team, nonetheless! I told people long ago; they need to arrest these thugs! Tyreek is a menace on society. They ALL are! The current administration is a bunch of chumps! Never seen anything like it. I would have put that thug away on multiple charges, for what he’s done in his life! He probably even joined in with Kaepernick’s protest—-But I call him Copernick, because he should have been arrested too. Now I come to find out that Sean is a Copernick sympathizer. Well, he got very lucky here. If Rimmel would have simply switched out his Flex for a Falcon great in Tyler Allgeier, he would have only had his ear grazed with the bullet. But instead, just like we did to Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi in 2019, Rimmel is down, with a bullet between his eyes in Week 2. Very sad indeed—As I have heard that Rimmel is a sweet, sweet person. Tragic. I also hear that he comes from a wealthy family, himself. Always love to see people who have money, do well. This week however, NOT so much. Congrats Sean, now please never kneel with Copernick ever again! And vote Trump/Vance on November 5th!

Humza vs Alex

Okay folks…..I haven’t seen this level of Muslim aggression, since Brussels 2016. Woah, waaaaaayyyy too soon! I do miss 2016 though. Things were much simpler back then. And I had power!! Great times indeed. Speaking of power, all of Humza’s team went into overdrive this week! Well minus, his 1st round pick just like Sean, this time it was Ja’Marr Chase. I like to call him SCAM’arr Chase. Because he has scammed Humza for 2 years now. Also, another kicker with over 20 points this week. The kicker is ultimately a disgusting position. These clowns who play kicker are just gross. You have these BIG burley men. And you have these kickers who trot onto the field, looking like girlie men. Similar to Chris, just pansy looking football players, if you can even call them that. And the coach says ‘’Put it through the uprights kid’’ and this pansy with these BIIIG uncomfortable looking shoulder pads, that don’t fit quite right, goes out there and says ‘’Yes, coach I will’’ just how a true pansy would respond. And meanwhile ALL of these REAL athletes watch as their 3-hour struggle, rests on the leg of this very weak kicker. These ARE weak people folks. We CAN’T trust weak people. And we shouldn’t. Horrible deal for everyone, all around. If I was league commissioner, I would really be looking into it. It’s ALL fake news. Kickers need to be locked up. But these people are too stupid, to even do it. I would do it. If I was in charge, we wouldn’t be so stupid and incompetent anymore. We WON’T be. Congrats Humza! And vote Trump/Vance on November 5th!

Ali vs Nazim

Speaking of the commissioner—Wow. Here we go guys. Brother Ali dragged Nazim into the street like it was 1789 or something, French Revolution reference folks. Nazim said ‘’Let them eat cake’’ on draft night. As he took STUD player after stud player. Never has ANYONE in the history of drafts, had such great, great players like this. But Nazim did. And he sat there very smug. Very smug indeed. But here came Brother Ali last week, to silence the smugness. James Cook and Alvin Kamara put on their Avengers costumes and chopped Thanos’ head clear off! And it was glorious to watch. The crazy part is that IF Nazim, simply trusted the Cardinals offense, he would have been the ONE doing the beheading, versus being the beheaded!! As Kyler Murray and Marvin Harrison combined for over 55 points. But Nazim chose, instead, to start an overrated Cooper Kupp. He is the Kamala Harris of the last 2 drafts. A total failure. And yet Nazim trusted him. You just can’t do that. Commissioner incompetence, over and over again! So many pieces on his roster, and we ALL told him, ‘’There will be weeks when you start the wrong guys’’ and here we are folks. He can’t be trusted. Brother Ali, however, did The Will of THE PEOPLE!! And he will be greatly rewarded for that. You can take that to the bank, Rimmel! Congrats Ali! And vote Trump/Vance on November 5th!

Yaseer vs Colten

Timmy Tua is concussed again! This guy is so stupid it’s ridiculous! You’re a quarterback, you have rules built into the game to protect you. You are allowed to slide. You had the first down, but you failed to give yourself up. And now you think your name is actually Tampon Tim. So sad. I hope a tampon can clog up that brain bleed you bitch!!!! Speaking of sad, why is NO ONE on Anthony Richardson’s case? All of the fake news liberal media seems to want to talk about is Bryce Young. Why is no one questioning how bad Anthony has been through 2 weeks? Just bad. They don’t prepare quarterbacks like they used to.

Back when I ruined the USFL, we had fantastic quarterbacks. I mean shit, I had Steve Young and Jim Kelly. Great QBs. They don’t make them like that anymore. And back then you could actually hit the QB. Now you get too close, and the referee blows his little whistle and shouts ‘’Nope! You’re too close’’…the game has gotten gayer than Chris Brooks in a San Francisco Tent-City with a bottle of lube and a ‘’Kiss Me’’ sign taped to his back! Very gay. Also, very surprised that JK Dobbins is actually good now. When did that happen? He was more elusive last week, than Kamala in front of news reporters who start asking her direct questions. For the last 3 years, JK Dobbins was more Missing-Out-Of-Action than Joe Biden, who has been on some Virginia Beach maxing out his PTO, the last 50 days! Ridiculous. So much incompetence. And now Colten loses his top RB in Pacheco. It will be very interesting to see how things settle out in that Chiefs backfield. Speaking of settling out, I continue to settle with more and more women out of court. I play whack-a-mole with court cases better than Tom Brady. Tom is a very close friend. I’m sorry about the whole FTX debacle, Tom. A lot of good people got hurt. A lot of good people. Even that one Afro having Jewish kid. I’m sorry Netanyahu, I will leave the Jews out of this one. You have my unwavering support my Israeli master! My apologies. Oh, and Tom welcome to the divorced club! It ONLY gets better from here. And heck, maybe one day you can be president…. because Allah knows you’re terrible at color commentary. Congrats to Yaseer! And vote Trump/Vance on November 5th!

Ahsan vs Kyriacos

Well, well I have heard that Ahsan was talking A LOT of shit to Kyriacos on draft night. Telling him ‘’Why are you even worried about this year’s draft, you have NO picks’’…. Feels very much like that fateful night when Obama told me at his own White House Correspondents dinner, that I would NEVER be president! I got the last laugh then, and it looks like Kyriacos got the last laugh in Week 2, as well. Speaking of laughing, I saw that Taylor Swift has endorsed my opponent Kamalala? Maybe she should focus less time on politics and more time on her ‘Mr. Pfizer’ boyfriend, in actually helping him to play well. Because he sucks! I mean what the heck has happened to Travis Kelce? 6 fantasy points in 2 weeks? I’m 78 years old with alleged ‘’bone spurs’’ in both feet, and I could have done better than 6 fantasy points, with one arm tied behind my back. PUT ME IN COACH! And Ahsan, just like the New Orleans Saints, did to the Dallas Defense trying to tackle them, you just got to ‘’Shake It Off’’. Haha. So good. 0 points for a ‘’Top 5’’ defensive unit must be maddening. I haven’t seen this type of meltdown, since the polls’ said Hillary was going to win, by a landslide in 2016. Wrongo!! And you were wrongo again on Kyriacos’ team. He moves to 2-0! Congrats Kyriacos! And vote Trump/Vance on November 5th!

And lastly…

Chris vs Parth

This is simply hysterical. Mr. Hero RB vs Mr. Draft Dodger himself. Parth at least had a wedding to attend, and yet Chris is the one who ultimately married a man last week. A man with the last name of Likely. And Chris is ‘Likely’ the gayest piece of shit ever created by Almighty God himself. Was the 3.6 points from the ‘non-Prophet Isaiah’ worth the $75 you spent to acquire him, you tall, ginger, brother from another, mother chode, BITCH!? Cam Dicker is the perfect kicker for you, because you have gotten the Full-Dicker all-year—looooong!

8================D

And how glorious that CJ Stroud on Primetime was the one of the nails in your homosexual Week 2 coffin that buried your winless team??! Also, shoutout to Devonta Smith on Monday night, and Let’s Go Falcons! Chris, you talked ALL that shit and then this happens. Very fitting. We need to get you a cat, because you’ve been grabbed by the pussy, more times than I can even count! Parth was just the latest to cop a feel. And he got up good in all of them nasty goodies! Great job Parth! My opponent put more black people in jail than I ever did, but she now wants to defund the police? Make it make sense. And furthermore, on the topic of No-sense-being-made…. If you would have told me that Chris would have 26 points from his RB, 12 points from his defense, 10 from his kicker, and almost 18 from his flex, but that he would STILL lose?? I would have laughed in your face, but now I’m laughing at yours, Chris. So sad! I hope you lose out the rest of the season, and you find your way into ‘’The ice bath of PAIN’’ next year, you gaywad SOB! Change your last name to Walz because you’ve been canceled come November, you combat avoiding, no good team having BITCH! Proud of you Parth! And you can vote Trump/Vance on November 5th! Chris, please stay home. I can’t have all that losing energy at the polls!

Trump out! #45and47

#MAGA #RedHatClique #BadOrangeMan

POST-WEEK 2 FORESHADOWING:

So, in the past years, we’ve looked at the teams that have started 0-2, 1-1, and 2-0, and what that has meant for end of season results. Since 2016, every champion has started the season 1-1. Last year, there were only 4 options and Kcos happened to be one of them, so the trend goes on. This year, we have 6 options: The entire relegation division except Chris (Humza, Ali, Naz, Parth, Ahsan) and Rimmel. We shall see at the end of the year if this becomes true once again!